Mario Maker and Rocksmith

I got a new coin in Mario Maker, I still think that game is really really fun. I love it. But the more I play it,  the more functionality I want. 

I want to do things I could do in Little Big Planet. Have different triggers for things. For example if I kill bowser, it blows up some blocks so that I can continue moving forward on the level.. Things like that, Not maybe things you could to in Mario games really. But You could read signs I remember from Super Mario World.

Maybe they're sticking to what you could do in the real mario games.

I have seen things that others do that I have no idea how to do.

Anyway, the new coin let me upload 20 levels instead of 10. 

So right now I have uploaded 18 levels. Some of them might be too difficult.

I also started playing Smoke on the Water on Rocksmith. It is a fun song. And that famous riff is kind of easy. I need to keep repeating in often, 

like with everything else ofcourse. 

But it is a really fun song to play.

Thinking about my game again

I get a this motivation feeling to start doing something. But it dies quickly when I think back at that BASIC parser.

I just have all these voices left in my head from people telling me "Oh, no, not another crappy spacegame". And my motivation is gone in a second. Once there was this complete idiot on IRC, just brutally murdering my motivation to keep programming at all. Saying things like, he felt sorry for my bos hiring someone like me. I just thought the idea of having two different instructions in a CPU do excactly the same thing.

I don't know how to implement the BASIC parser in my game. Like a scripting engine. Or actually do so that it compiles into opcodes and simulate the whole computer. Or.. I don't know.

Maybe I should make a text based game. Like I used to. When I was 12.

Maybe I should use ncurses.

It has to start somewhere. I think I usually start with the most advanced stuff first. Just so that I can have something to show of to people. And that might be my biggest problem.

Even if I do that, I always kept hearing, or getting the response that it looks boring. And then I try to explain. But I cannot do Crysis graphics and sound effects in two months and make it look cool for you... what I have done IS cool, it IS advanced. You just can't see it.

And then they just leave showing their fat asses and talk about something else. Not even caring about what I have done or worked on. Because "We don't understand it", or whatever... While I would like to have some input... What can I do, what features would be cool in this game.. but.. yeah..  *sigh* no... It leaves me with the feeling that it is not worth the effort. I have even heard a friend say that what I do is a waste of time. If I cannot impress with cool graphics FIRST, it is pointless and a waste of time .

But they don't have any understanding in programming. I need to stop listening to them too much to them. 

No.. That is not a picture that has anything to do with the game. But my game idea has something to do with programming. And programming different devices.

Now. I am alone. Father has gone home. I feel free again. It feels great in a way.

Breakfast and Mario Maker

Games and food is really not a good combination. Either you eat your food and just watch the boring title screen.

Or you play and your coffee gets cold and your sandwhiches dry.

If I do both, my controllers gets greasy.

I need to find out a good way to do both.

I have already reheated my coffee once. Hope it is not one of those days where I still have a little bit of morning coffee left till the evening.

Thinking more about that game.

I still feel motivated write more about my game today. It was fun. I feel happy now 

"I it at sinendivlob9oofx x4..... actuslliy i elll asleoo abdrrease.. "  ... yeah Goof x4, that was the most accurate  I could write during that sudden micro-sleep I got just now, I have lbl decifrdd to notficävä any mistakes kn this sentance. I will keep writing no matter if i am slerpimg ot not. Snf then keep writing on my computer...

Anyway..back to games. I liked Fo3 very much. The atmosphere and feeling that it has. It is not just another shooter with some enemies thrown in in here. And why Fo3 popped into my head I don't know. But I guess it is similar in a way.

You're a lone drifter that scavenges for loot to survive. It also has robots and hackable computers. Though I would like my computer to be a 100% programmable computer. And if possible even be sensitive to a viruses if some might have written code with bufferoverflow bugs in them.

Anyway, as I was writing yesterday. You can easily see how my imagination just drifts off. And the game becomes so big that I eventually can't handle it.

One trick is to come up with as many ideas as possible. An figure out how it an be programmed to use less code, I mean use the same functions but just change the parameters a little.

....I am making breakfast now. This is an ugly picture I drew. It is inside a spaceship, and it has a computer screen with green background. A Window, and you can see stars outside. And that purple thing is a droid.

I'm sitting and wondering about my space game (Part 1)

I wonder if it ever be done.

But just now for some reason, I think it is more fun to think and dream about it than actually do it.

I don't know. I feel motivated about it now, but next week, or tomorrow it might be completely gone. The most important thing of all is to feel this happy and motivated about something. And don't loose that and get depressed. I don't want to think about how much time do I have left, before I am incapable of doing anything.

Another thing that is important to keep in mind is that, I am not doing this for other people. I am doing this for me. Because it is something that I think I will enjoy playing... The boring part though is that, I think my game idea needs other people for it to be enjoyable. And maybe I need to find a way to make that not so important. Make it a single player game.

And how do I keep motivated. I once asked Notch on Twitch. And he responded.. well, I don't know, just keep doing it anyway I suppose, even if it is boring. And that is exactly how I think as well. But a thing I notice about Markus "Notch" Persson when he has his little programming moments on Twitch, is that he is so fast at doing something playable and controllable that you can run around in and do stuff in. And maybe that keeps the motivation going to add more features later. Do the fun stuff first and the boring stuff later.

While I usually get stuck on the boring parts first, and adds the graphics and the controls much later. I might not even get to the parts with graphics and controls. Just a program that is a part of the game, or a tool that is used to help create the game. 

The game have to be in 3D. It would need to have some physics, that can be done with ODE. Open Dynamics Engine, I have programmed that before. I need to know how to use that

I think I will write it in C++, and not in C. Even though my experience in C++ is not as good as my experience in C.

Maybe I can even do it in C++11 ?

It depends on how well C++11 is implemented in GCC

https://gcc.gnu.org/projects/cxx0x.html

And how well it works with other libraries. I want to use.

I need to model stuff in blender, and I did write something to make C code out of blender models.

But also, I am afraid to do more bugs when using C++. Because I am so confident in C. Programming MCU's and being very close to hardware level most of the time in my work. I don't know. It does feel like C++ is the better choice anyway.

And I will  read this book "C++ Programming by Bjarne Stroustrup". That was free on Google Play. And I have read a lot of it already. I learnt a lot from that book. I learned to make pointers to functions in C. Something that I actually didn't know about C. Even after programming it so much, even saying that I feel confident in it. I remember that Donald Knuth wrote in the Art of Computer programming that pointers to functions is something a programming language has to have. otherwise it is quite useless... And I thought, I don't know if C has that. And he showed the qsort() example. And I didn't understand it. Not until I read Bjarne Stroustrup's book about C++.

Maybe pointers to functions is not something that is implemented in the HiTech or Microchip compilers that I have used so much. Anyway... Now I know how to use that confusing qsort() function that you can read about (man qsort). And I did implement it in my sudokuhelp program. Aswell in my objParser program I used it alot when building linked lists. To allocate memory and free() memory. I think that worked out very well. It almost made C, look and feel like programming an object oriented language when I did it that way... And now all those voices from "expert" programmers popped up in my head on how stupid this way to program is... yes yes. I don't care, shut up old voices.

The game would need a programmable computer. No, it is not 0x10c. I was not inspired by that. I had this idea before 0x10c. Don't believe me? OK then. Don't.

It would need a BASIC interpreter. And I have not decided if it is only going to read BASIC like a scripting language, or if it actually would implement an compiler and run the code as a virtual CPU.

TIS-100 was a fun little game, check it out.

I have been trying to make a BASIC parser in flex & bison, and I have been reading this book on google play. But I got stuck at the point where it kind of "recursively" parses programs.

Like for instance, it reaches a line like "IF A<5 THEN" block-of-code "ENDIF"

Where that block of code is, that would only be executed if A<5. But how to make a compiler for that? Well, if would need to compile something to check if A<5, and then compile the block-of-code, and then go back and make a JMP, to jump over the compiled block-of-code if A>=5... I guess. Don't make it too complicated.

The computer must have some functionality in the game. What will it do...
I guess it can't do much unless it is connected to some sensors.

My first inspiration to this game was that movie Silent Running. And while the computer doesn't play a big role in the game, other things do. Like the droids... I think the main character smashed the computer and the communication system.

But in my game, I would like the computer and the communication system be much more important and play a much bigger role.

And it would be fun to have those droids there as well.

A game needs some challange, otherwise it can get boring.

Maybe you can get hit by mini asteroids that would do holes in your ship and leak oxygene. You need your droids to fix this. you need your computer to tell the droids where to go and what to do.

There could be many ways to do this. Would you need "oxygen-level-sensors".. what is that excatly? I don't know. But I imagine that something like that might exist.

The computer needs to comunicate with the droid to tell it where to go ? How can this be done. Does the ship have X,Y,Z coordinates. Or can it be done even more simple maybe.

Or is that too much. Maybe it can be done without the computer, maybe it can be done manually aswell. But you could figure out that the computer is a good tool to fix these problems faster and automatically.

In Silent Running there was also a garden.

I think I would want that too... But that makes me think of two things, sunlight.
And actually electricity. The garden would need Sunlight, and the ship would need electricity. Solar panels.

And another thing. Materials, I mean, just things. In Homeworld you "mine" stuff from rocks, just do "mining"... I think you did that in Alpha Centauri aswell.

Maybe I could implement Mining in a more fun way, by mining individual atoms, from the periodic table. If you found a large rock in space, you could go there and "mine", to get iron and copper and gold and silver and coal, even helium and oxygen and uranium, and anything.

The garden would supply you with oxygene, as long as it gets light. But what if there is a hull breach. The droids would need material to fix that.

As I said earlier, the communication system would play a much bigger role in this game.

Who would you communicate with, earth?

I was thinking maybe earth is gone, maybe everyone there is dead. What if the ship you were on was supposed to have other crew members. But they died for some reason. Their hybernation chambers failed.

Don't bury the bodies the garden though.... If you've seen Silent Running.
You know what I mean.


So you're the only one left... or are you?
Maybe there is another sun out there with another person struggling to survive.

Because what is your purpose of surviving in the game if you're the only one left. There is no reason really. You might as well die.

Maybe there are people on earth, but you can't come back. You are stuck on this station. For some reason.

I would find it more fun, if you were able to leave rotation from the sun. And go somewhere else, maybe find another star to circulate around... What would happen to the garden during this time... Maybe the garden could be frozen down quicly, and and then unfrozen when you have reached another star.

You would need to save up an amount of food to do this trip... And you need to get into hibernation? But if it takes 100 years to reach another star with another person, that person would already be dead in 100 years... So you need.. hmm. I don't know yet  really.. There need to be some kind of unrealistic element in this to make it work.


I am too tired now to think more. I don't know how to get this game fun.
I really need to go to sleep. Goodnight.

Morning games and breakfast

I went up early. And I just want to say that. Compared to nighttime, in the morning I usually feel very well.

My Neato vacuum cleaner is going around cleaning while I eat. It got stuck on one of the door thresholds (steps?) once.

I started Fantasy Life for DS. But I feel that my brain is not really 100% awake yet.

I was reading the dialog in the game, and my brain just went into sleep mode inte the middle of it and kept making up what they were talking about. At one point I got a large wooden sword in the game... Then I opened my eyes and shook my head to wake up. And ofcourse there was no wooden sword. Things like that happening all the time.

I will have some coffee now and play again later when I feel more awake.

Mario Maker and Splatoon

I tested Splatoon. And my experience so far is sadly negative. It is like I expected. I generally suck at the "deahmatch" type of games. Other people are always better, and I lose.

What I hated mostly about the game, and this is the first impression. Is the way you target by pointing the using the gamepad.

This, might be one of the worst ideas that has ever been implemented in a game according to me. So lets say you want to be fast and aim at someone. So I am supposed to wave around my gamepad quickly risking maybe hitting the guy sitting next to me in the head.

Also you often get it to aim down too much all the time, since you hold the controller down in that way, so you're running around looking down too much, struggling to keep looking up and hold up your gamepad in front of you.

Sometimes it feels like it also gets out of sync so you need to move the gamepad more to aim in a certain direction than you did before. It is just horrible.

I have not checked yet, but I assume it is something that can be changed in the settings. And that you don't have to play with the gamepad. I'd rather play with a pro controller.

When it comes to Mario Maker however. I like it more and more for every day. I have been playing lots of levels. And I have probably made 15 levels or so myself. Uploading ten of them. 

Here are the codes to my levels

6A13-0000-0045-4AFC

59A5-0000-0043-C020

88F0-0000-0043-BDCA

2DE6-0000-0043-B74B

9891-0000-0043-B2DE

F6AA-0000-0043-A632

D2C3-0000-0042-A304

1BB7-0000-0035-BA5D

C517-0000-0035-B8F3

EF53-0000-0035-AB7C

One thing about Mario Maker that is a little tedious is that you have to unlock stuff that you build levels with. One thing about that, that might be positive is that it kind of forces you to play the game more. Otherwise I had been stuck at trying to create levels with all those options that you kind of have no understanding how to use and what to do with it.

So having just a few things to start with might make it easier for you to understand how to build levels. Only having a few things from start, makes it less confusing. There are probably many things about that system that is very positive. And Nintendo might have thought about this and made it like it is for a good reason.

But for example, I would like to have the option to enter pipes much earlier. I still have not unlocked that functionality yet.

Also, the system overall is very confusing sometimes. Where do I enter codes for levels? I had too look for it for some time until I found it.

And the lack of a functionality to find your friends really sucks. I want to be able to find my friends levels much easier. The friends that I have in my friend-list I mean.

I don't understand at all why that is not a function in the game.
Actually the Wii U uses the friend-list very little. It is almost quite useless.

It was a little bit fun, for example on the ps3 where you could send a message and it would pop up in the top right corner. No matter if you were in a game or watching a movie or whatever. You could of course turn that option off if you thought it was irritating. I never thought it was irritating. Because we sent messages so very rarely.

Anyway. I give Mario Maker an 8/10. A strong 8. It is almost pushing up to be a 9. But... for the lack of finding friends so difficult. It is not quite worth a 9.

Splatoon... I don't really know. I kind of regret buying it and all those Amiibos. I need to play it more to give an honest rating. But at the moment I feel it's not more than 4/10.

Aiming with the gamepad is the worst. I'll try playing it again and reconfiguring my controls to see if I like it more.

Even more Amiibos and Splatoon and thinking about my friends again.

I don't know what has happened to me. I told myself to not buy so many Amiibos. But then I saw some of them were so quickly sold out that I just wanted them. I got the Ness Amiibo that I wanted.

Oh, all these Amiibos.. What am I doing :| But I really wanted the Ness Amiibo :)

Also. Bought Splatoon. I don't know why. I didn't think it looked like a game for me when I first saw it. But sometimes you can find games you really like this way. It looks boring, doesn't look like your type of game. And then you play it and just love it.. So we will see. I wrote yesterday what I thought about deathmatch shooters like that. I always suck at them because I can't aim. And my friends are always so much better at those kinds of games, I also have quite some low self esteem or what you can call it. I have it difficult when others laugh at you for failing all the time or often.. I've grown away from this for the most part. But still.

I'll try splatoon later.

Sometimes I buy games because I want friends to come over and have fun and play. I remember we had so much fun with 007 Golden Eye for N64. But I had other friends back then too. It didn't do so much that I lost often. And sometimes I was even quite skilled on it. I think we were on the same level overall. My friend had beaten some really hard levels and locked up everything. I never did that. But when we played multiplayer we had fun.

(And if you want to continue reading from here. I know I will be complaining and complaining about my friends and how they ruin things for me. My trips and my parties. Etc etc. I just feel sometimes I want to get things off my chest when it comes to them. And after I wrote this I really feel that I did. I feel no more irritation or anger over past events. Things are better now. I might aswell delete it now. But I will keep it.)

With the friends I got now. It is. I think impossible to have fun in a multiplayer deathmatch game. If you can stand the loudness of E's laughter. And his always so clever ways to win a game. Or stand the shit you have to take if he happens to suck at the game. C however might master the game in such a way that you simply don't have a chance. Just forget it. No games like that used to be much more fun.

I have a friend that we always play games at. And it is often Mario Kart Double Dash. And once I bought four gamecube controllers so that we could play it also when they are at my place.

Once when we talked about something. Like, how it is always so fun at M's place because we can play Mario Kart. Then I said, "But we can play Mario Kart at my place too now.". And we had done that once so they knew. But the reaction I got was just a blank stare. I don't know what we talked about after that.

I remember when we did play Mario Kart at my place. And one of my friends was shaking the controller up and down in the air in large motions so that my gamecube or Wii was jumping on the floor (not good for the laser for the disc reader btw) while laughing hysterically over this for some reason. Something was fun because the cable was too short for him, maybe, I don't know. At M's place he has wireless gamecube controllers. We never played Mario Kart at my place again. Not because I didn't want to. But because they never want to, or they have forgotten that I have it or something.

It was the same when he played with my guitar. He took it and held it so that the wire was almost popping out. But instead of doing anything about that. Like moving or something he kept stretching it until it popped out and then laughing hysterically over this. This always puts the idea in my mind that it is something wrong with me. I have done something wrong so that he is not pleased. Or it is always someone else's fault that he cannot find full enjoyment. He cannot simply adapt a little bit. And he probably has a very clever answer on this, on why he cannot adapt.

I notice I have been talking about my friends alot during the last posts. And how much they have irritated me over the years.

Ideas start to get into my head like, I am actually quite pleased that my life is so short now. Because I never felt I had any really good friends. Real friends that care, and don't try to ruin things for you alot of the time.

That is a thing with E. He sometimes without remorse, deliberately really wants to ruin a good experience for you. This has happened. I can't remember a good example right now... Oh, maybe I'll remember something later.

I remember once when I wanted to celebrate my birthday. I had bought cake or what it was that we could have with some coffee. I was probably 27 or something like that. Not 18.. And cake and coffee is something that I enjoy very much.

However. Once people started drinking. They were on top of each other wrestling in my sofa. Someone, think it was E. Took a bag of chips and smashed it like a blown up paperbag, laughing and laughing. The sofa was tipped over... I was so *not happy* at this time.

We were leaving to go out. The sofa still tilted on its back. Nobody cared about this. I tried lifting the sofa back up. And I asked nicely. "C, can you please take the other corner and...". And I wasn't even finished with my sentance. He being probably 20times stronger than me just took the sofa in one corner and threw it up in the air making it land on it's feet. I just *sighed*... and said OK. Could have been done with some grace maybe?

Was this the same party when E was using one of my chairs to bounce forwards. While laughing hysterically. Luckily that chair is not broken. Because I like it.

Before E arrived. Someone called C and they talked. And said "Ok, when will you be here? Ok see you". And I asked C who it was. In which he didn't respond. He was like a brick wall. Not even making eye contact. I shouted louder "Who was it? Who is coming?". No answer just blank stare on the TV. I started to get irritated.

Then E arrived.

I was hoping for a calm party. One of those. Where you can sit down. Drink your beer and talk to each other. And maybe say. Hey anyone one wants liqeur and coffee and cake. Or something else sweet like conjac or something like that. It is good. But no.. no no no no. That is for old men. You have to turn atleast 40 or maybe 50 before you can do something like that. But why? I like it. It was my birthday. I didn't want my sofa upside down and a bag och chips exploded on the floor. I never wished for that.

The day after, nobody wanted coffee or cake. They just wanted to go home and leave the cleaning job for me. I don't remember anything else from that party. Just the miserable stuff. But I wonder if they had any fun. I didn't.

I wonder what all that was for. All that miserable behaviour at my place. Did I ever behave like that at theirs? I don't know. I don't care about that anymore anyway.

However, the rules are very different when E is having a party. There is food and coffee and cake and no exploding bags of chips. It is going to be fancy and cosy and calm.

When it is time to eat. Everyone stands in line and take food. Nobody complains about the food. Nobody dares to say things like "this looks disgusting". And if there is time for coffee and liqeur that is 100% ok. Nobody can come to E's party and say, yeah I'll come later I'll just grab some mcdonalds first. Im hungry like hell.

No. Hell you don't.

I don't care so much about that now. Or I don't care at all about those things actually. Because I will never have another party. And I will never go to another party. I have stopped drinking alcohol. And that feels great.

I always wanted to have a party were I make some food and have a pleasant calm time.

But this is also impossible. Because I cannot do that. E have a view on me as standing underneath him and his girlfriend and his perfect life.

So it might sound "hey we can come over and do tacos or something". Meaning that they will use my kitchen to make tacos for us. OK. That is nice too.

But the thing is. I would like to be in that situation for once. When I can feel like an adult and invite people to my place and make food for them. But if you gonna do that with E, you need some other kind of higher status. I can't come home to E and say, hey I can come over and make tacos or somerhing for you.. you see? 

Because he has a girlfriend and is at a much higher level.

There are plenty of recepies that I always wanted to share with people. But people don't have that view on me. They don't want my food. It is actually the same with my father. I can't cook for him. He cannot take that.

I have had one friend that I've cooked for several times. And she enjoyed it, she even said I was good at it. So I am happy enough. I have done that, I have had someone enjoy my food that I cooked for someone. I don't need more now. My other friends missed my cooking skills. It is their loss really.

Mario Maker

I have been playing Mario Maker this morning. It is quite fun actually.

I've unlocked some more stuff. SMB3 mode. And auto moving and ghost level stuff.

But I would like it to be more simple to find your friends.

I'll share some of my levels here.

They should use QR codes for those codes. That would have been easier.

I am so tired already

It is way too early to go to sleep. Thought that coffe maybe could help a little.

I am also trying to watch the second season of Under The Dome on Netflix. This B-series where everyone can act as stupid as they possibly can.

I was too tired to keep my attention anyway. I had to stop watching.

I am really really tired. But I will try and stay awake as long as possible.

I have been thinking about getting the happy home designer special new 3ds XL. As I regret not getting the XL version of the 3DS..But I don't know really.
Maybe. I don't like that you get a digital download of the game. I would like to upgrade my memory in my 3ds also and I don't know how that have any effect on the game.
I mean. Is it pre installed on the sd card? Do I loose it if I format it?

I remember I got a digital download of Mario 3D Land or what it is called when I bought my 3DS XL white. But I don't remember if I just got a key to download it from the store or something..Eh. Anyway. Happy Home Designer doesn't look like a very fun game. I just want the 3DS XL White.... But I can't decide... I don't know.

I maybe want the mgs5 special edition ps4 also :P but I don't know... so much money on things I spend so little time on.

I could get Rocksmith for ps4 aswell. Hmm.

I think I feel the effect of the coffee now. Maybe it works. Feels so much better now. Feels better to stay awake. Not this half awake zombie state.

I just bought Sin & Punishment on Wii U store. Remember how much talk there was about that game back when it came out. Or was it after because it became so rare and expensive? I don't remember why, maybe it was never released in Europe or something like that. But I don't even remember which system it was on. . Was it on N64 ? Oh it was. Have to check up the facts on that.

Playing it now... yep it was quite fun. But the controls was a bit difficult. Controlling the haircross with left joystick and strifing back and forth with the right joystick. Suddenly you're just shooting into the ground and wonder why you don't hit anything. Maybe it is easier if I switch so that the controls are more like Star Fox. Not the other way around.

I feel more awake now. Arvid Nordquist Giusto Espresso made it.

And how do I unlock more stuff on Mario Maker really? I don't know how to make new cool levels.

Alot of people wants to show off and do these "don't move" levels. I hate them. They are so boring.

Fantasy Life and motivation

I forgot. I got this in the mail today. Fantasy Life for 3DS.

I just read that Nobuo Uematsu Made the music for it. Then I bought it. 

I am also waiting to get Splatoon that I ordered yesterday. With three Amiibos. I am not sure I'll even like the game. I don't usually like deathmatch games so much. Because it is so difficult to get good at them. And you need to play wirh friends. And.. I've talked about my friends haven't I.. I am the worst looser on competetive games. Others laughing in your face when you loose like "haha. How is it going daniel? Need a little help". Or the other laugh which is more like "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA", and I worry about my poor neighbour that lives under me. And then there is the other way around, I win, and they loose. In that situation, "this game sucks, the controls sucks, it is boring"...  so we are all loosers. So we shouldn't play games against each other.

Reminds me when I first tried mgs4 online. Seriously. You cannot be alive for more than a couple of seconds in that game.

Oh. Why do I buy all these Amibos. :/

I've been playing Mario Maker. To be honest. Games where you need to be creative isn't really my thing. 

I can't really make fun levels. I am bad at that.

Maybe gaming is something that I get more and more bored by. Maybe I am too old. Trying to hang on to that childhood happiness by buying all this crap.

But even if I saved my money for electronics hobbystuff. I wouldn't know what to do either. It is like my mind is full of all this mess and all those thoughts. I cannot get fourier transforms and sallen-key links and bode plots and all that stuff in there anymore. It is getting pushed out by stupidifying things.

I just have no single fucking clue how to make an oscillator. It is like an unstable filter or something but... *sigh*... if I could just wish that enthusiasm back into my head.

I feel so depressed and sad. And stupid. I need a boost. I want to have that feeling again whete I realise "wow, I can really do this. I have found something that I can do". How wonderful that was.

I remember I was doing math. Because I failed at math in school. I didn't get my grades. So I was doing it on Komvux. And I was completly alone. We had no classroom. Just a teacher that came to visit once a week or something.

And I was doing derivatives. And I tried to understand it. And then I came to a point where I needed to calculate a value 'e', where e^x had the derivative e^x.. And I solved it. And that made me so happy. It really boosted my confidence. That I could understand it. And I started loving math.

I should do excerises from my school books still. Because it is really fun when you get those "aha" moments.

But where the hell is my motivation at. I picked up the physics book once. And I did the first excerise. And I failed... and I couldn't understand why. It was just a simple question on accuracy on where to put the comma when for example calculating 1.93 * 1.8. Well since it doesn't say 1.80. The answer should only have one decimal right? But the answer in the back said differently. And I was confused. Was the book wrong. Was I wrong? And I got bored in a second and didn't pick it up again. *sigh*

Congratulations Mario on your 30th Birthday

I usually dont like games where you create game worlds. They always seems so fun in my mind. But once you start playing them. You have no clue what todo.

When compared to level creation in Little Big Planet, it was fun in a way because you could do so much stuff with it. But my imagination is limited. And it almost gets too complicated for a normal person like me with very limited imagination. The larger the levels became, the more difficult they become to update and handle and fix mistakes. The controls became unbearable to handle after a while when you wanted to make more advanced levels. There was just a mess of wires and buttons and crap everywhere. And once you worked on something you really liked, your friends and the community would just destroy the fun for you with bad ratings and depressing comments. "This sucks really hard". Yeah. Thanks. I worked hours on that.

But the few minutes I have played Mario Maker now. It is more simple. And I really think that this is a game I can have lots of fun with!
I tried my little Woolly Yoshi amibo. And you could play as yoshi. Fun little gem.

Nintendo always succeeds in making games a little bit more fun than others. I think they managed to do so this time too.

Akiba's Trip: Undead and Undressed

I have not tried Mario Maker today. Maybe I'll play it in the morning. I had some friends over and we played Rocksmith.

And I tried Akiba's Trip. I bought it after all so I have to play it sometime.

The graphics was very simple. But I think it was originally released for PSP or something. So I think you shouldn't expect any super graphics.

Don't know how fun  I think this game is really at this point. I thought it was cool that they made the Akihabara streets. And since I have been there once. I thought it could be fun to see if I recognise the place. And I kind of did. But the resolution on all the textures was so low.

And I have very little patience with games where you talk and talk and talk with characters. Socializing with these digital characters. These games seems to be so popular in Japan. I don't really get it. I want to get into the game, quick and fast, and do some action. No tutorials on how to move around and no socializing with the characters so much. That can happen later in the game if necessary.

Or maybe it was because I had friends here. I didn't want to sit and read and read conversations. I wanted to play. I feel their impatience so I get impatient myself.

I think it had too many loading screens. The ps3 should be able to hold more data in memory than that. Maybe it is a PSP port. That could explain it.

Mario Maker

Today I got Mario Maker :)

Also heard something about a Mario birthday soon. September 13th? Happy birthday then :)

My sisters daughters birthday is tomorrow. And Marios on sunday. So there'll be some cake eating here at home.

Got a new game

I had a package to pick up. I was hoping it was Mario Maker. But it probably arrives tomorrow.

Nope. To my dissapointment. It was this little gem of a game. I think, hope I will have Mario Maker to pick up tomorrow.

I bought this for 16 SEK on ebay.

I think you need some microphone with this game. But it was only 16sek. So whatever. Maybe I'll try to start it someday.

:D

Check out the AVGN review. I haven't seen it myself yet.

I also notice how damn weak I am. I can hardly get my shoes off my feet. They're completely new of course. But anyway. Just walking up the stairs. Getting my shoes on and off. I can hardly do anything.

122 streak in Rocksmith and other thoughts

I got a 122 streak in Blitzkrieg Bop this morning. :)

I am getting better. But only in this song. Lol :P

I don't know what todo. I have so many dead electronics projects.

Wanted to make a wireless nintendo controller once. Found these good bluetooth modules we used at work..RN42.

I bought a FT800 devkit. Never used it.
Never made anything with my DE0-nano devit. Or my MAXII devkit either. Don't know what todo. Wanted to make my own cpu.

I bought these 2.4Ghz modules from microchip that I never got up and running.

They made it so difficult. Because they are basically just empty modules that needs to be loaded with some stack. MiWi or ZigBee or whatever. And I don't know how that works. Either they made it so "easy and userfriendly" that it got completly unuserfriendly it can possibly be, unless you buy more stuff from Microchip. Buy more devkits and software... but it's so unessecary when it comes to modules built upon SoC. You can't really buy just a SoC and get it working very easily. But you can buy it on a pre made module. Like the telegesis ZigBee or the XBee. But microchips....whatever it is called. Doesn't just run and communicate when getting power. It just lies there silent. Because it has no software in it. So how do I get it running MiWi?

The software library I am told to download doesn't work. It doesn't unpack in Linux, it doesn't even give me an error message. Is it broken or something? I bet it works like a charm under windows. But I am not really interested in using Windows.

I don't have any friends with common interests really. I don't have anyone to discuss ideas with or ask for help. Well the friends I have are "experts" in everything, so whatever knowledge I have in electronics is quite useless for them. I would not be the first person to ask if there's somerhing they want to know. I would be the last one.

They look at my stuff as being ridiculous and boring. I always need to hear bullshit everytime I use my computer and need to say "I can't do that. I got Linux" (and by the way I am not interested). I remember how much a friend laughed at me when I bought my first multimeter, that it was so fun and ridiculous he had to laugh and tell everyone that I bought a multimeter. That is how it is. I really need to fight and fight to keep my interests and enthusiasm up all the time. I am completly alone. There is no one to keep things going with.

I think,  that in their mind I don't really know more in electronics than they do. They know better most of the time. I usually get told how to do stuff that are really simple and basic. Like, lets explain to you what pixels on a screen are. Yeah, I know I used to program scaling algorithms in Mode 13h when you still tried to beat the final boss in Quake 1. They don't let me in to a discussion if there's something I understand so much better than them. I can't start a discussion because it doesn't interest them.

It doesn't help that that someone also has zero memory. I was just told to look up this RS "have you ever heard of them". Oh yes, I just told you two messages back. And maybe also for the last 3 years I've been working. Telling you to look this site up that we order stuff from at work. But the thing is. It doesn't count until they find it themselves.

 It is once they discover this "new thing". Then it gets stuck in their head. Like when I worked in Uddevalla and always ate lunch out, and a new restaurant opened that was really good. But getting my friends to eat there was one of the most difficult things that I ever did. They have sallad I said. "But I want real food not some damn sallad". Meat, meat,  real food. Yes they got a menu with meat in it.

It wasn't until someone else claimed the HE "discovered" this place first. When in reality I took him there once to eat, just me and him. Then, it took off, and they wanted to eat there all the time. Ofcourse never in their life tried anything else on the menu for the restaurants entire lifetime than the menu option with meat in it. And. Yeah. Ofcourse I have to be the one going getting cancer. The one who is not afraid of vegetarian food.

I don't know why it have to be like this. It is some kind of "status" thing I think. Or I am just unfortunate to meet these really stupid people. It is sad however that they never got to experience some of the better lunch places I tried over the years. So I guess it is more their loss than mine anyway when it comes to that.

When it comes to knowledge in electronics or anything else. They've heard what the experts say on Flashback or whatever... I don't really have any knowledge. I use my intuition, how well do I understand electronics and how logical and plausible might something be. And guess the answer. And I might be wrong to some extent, usually I am closer to being right.

But this ofcourse makes my knowledge laughable. And I don't really know anything. Truth is. It is completly impossible to know everything in electronics. It is not realistic. Even people with 30 years of experience needs to look up things in formula collection books and google for simple circuits from time to time.

I am quite useless. That is how I feel anyway. I wish I understood electronics so much better. A bachelors degree doesn't help at all. It doesn't mean anything to anyone else either. And also the truth is. Because once you're done with school, all that wonderful knowledge just dissipates and slowly goes away unless you keep it alive and work on it all the time.

And I think it is so damn hard to keep my motivation and enthusiasm up. I don't get that automatically. I mostly just feel like doing nothing at all.

Sometimes it feels like my brain is just standing still. It doesn't want to do anything. Not playing games, not doing any electronics or programming. Just being shut off while being awake. Maybe eating is the best thing I know then.

It gets more difficult to learn new things when you get older I've heard. I don't have the same enthusiasm and motivation as I used to. It more depressing now.

I am just walking around here at home. Waiting for something seriously dangerous to happen with my cancer. And get my life taken away from me. Because if I end up in the hospital. That is pretty much equal to taking someones life away from them.

Some people seem to think that, if I have my computer at the hospital (my laptop). I suddenly have all I need. I can "play games" as they say. I am a hardcore Linux user though. I haven't got my second graphics card to good uae in my laptop. And even if I could play some game, if the game doesn't immerse me, It doesn't interest me. It interests me much much more to be creative.

Some people play these games like, candy crush saga and so on. That is what "games" are for them. But I grew up with games. I know that there are great games with a deep story that can immerse you and get you sucked into a gameworld, just like watching a movie. Just much better I think.

Lol, I remember one time when I told someone this and she reaponded "that is very dangerous and you must stop doing that". Immersing yourself into fantasy worlds that is. I told her that I loved Harry Potter because it was such a cosy and nice world to be in, and how I loved imagining myself in it. But this was appearebtly a big No No and very dangerous for you. Games or movies the same. But appearently religion is completly OK to get into. I think the opposite though. You can get deeply involved in the gameworld when you're playing it. But once you shut the game off, you're back into reality.

It's not the same as getting involved in a religion as she seem to think. In a religion you live in that all the time. In a game or a fantasy book or a movie you shut off and get back to reality. In religion, your beliefs IS your reality. You don't shut off and forget about it when you get bored. You need dedication to keep that going. I don't have that at all. I am a daydreamer, yes, my teachers always said that. But I can't keep beliving in something that doesn't seem realistic, and almost reminds me of fantasy sometimes. I just simply can't belive it is reality. So I cannot understand why immersing myself into the Harry Potter world could do any harm at all.

And if you happen to choose the wrong religion. You might get really brain washed and wacky and nuts. Can't happen with a game. A game is just temporary, and it doesn't force you to change anything in your lifestyle.

It's actually the people who tell you that enjoying fantasy are the ones who are at any danger. They are too naive, too gullible, they'll belive in anything they read.

I know I have some bibleverses here and there in this blog. I really do enjoy parts of the bible. But I have problems believing in it 100% and dedicating myswelf to that kind of lifestyle.

Some people are so strange. I had a nurse here one day. And she asked about my guitar. And she asked what I played. Anf I said I play this game, Rocksmith. I've mostly played that song blitzkrig bop with Ramones. And I have it really really hard to speak with a tumour in my mouth (think john merrick, elephant man). And she constantly  had to ask me to repeat. I said "Blitzkrieg Bop, by Ramones"

And she reaponded. "Ramones, is that what it is called?". And I just thought. What a typical hockeymum answer. I wonder how these people live their lives. They haven't heard an extremly famous song by one of the biggest punk rock bands that ever existed. What do they do in life. Do they only exist to produce children, and just live with the natural flow. These people never get sick. They travel to thailand with their family, because it is the cheapest. Their children eats swedish meatballs and mashed potatoes. They play in the ocean a little. Get a little skinburn. Get home. Get back to work. Children gets older, and by just some automatic process they suddenly have girlfriends/boyfriends. And life goes on, and there's a new "standard" family. 

Until someone odd like me is born. I don't want to go out. I want to be with the computer. I have friends online. I want to learn programming. The parents doesn't really understand what I am doing. But they start getting afriad that it is something dangerous. Because everything they don't understand is ofcourse dangerous. I buy some electronics components

"You're not allowed to plug that into the computer. You'll burn down the house"

"But it is only a 5V output. It is protected in so many ways, nothing can happen..." 

But no no. Not allowed. Not allowed to learn anything. I am so jealous of the kids who got parents that encoured their children in their interests. I had to fight really hard to keep my motivation anf enthusiasm when I was young. Even if I really tried to explain what I did. Nodoby could understand. It really kills your motivation. I never was good at keeping my enthusiasm up. When I was a teenager, I was enrhusiastic and motivated. But I had no tools. And no money to get any tools. I couldn't ask my father for a multimeter. Because he didn't know what it was, and in his mind it wad probably something dangerous that could hurt me.

I think the biggest fault you can do when raising someone is not to let them do any mistakes. My father always wanted me to do correct the first time doing something. If I did something wrong he took the tools out of my hands and did the job himself, "look here this is how you do it". But I don't learn by looking. I learn by doing. And I think most people do.

And then he could say something like "I thought daniel could do this but he doesn't want to". But he only let me try once, saw that I failed and then just push me away. I never said that I didn't want to do it.

I have learnt that you have to fail and fail and fail over and over again until you get it right.

My father doesn't have patience. I think that is it.

When I had my computer. I could fail and fail and fail over again. And nobody knew. My father didn't know what I did with the computet. He didn't understand it. So it was much easier to learn stuff there. Except in electronics. Because anything plugged into the wall outlet was extremly dangerous. I have only recently been able to get some good electronics equipment. That feel fun. But now all my motivation and enthusiasm is gone.

Oh. I remember once when a relative passed away. He worked with electronics repair. And they told me I could get his instruments. That was really fun. But when I saw what he got. It was really old rusty stuff. I couldn't understand how he possibly could use anything of that for anything. He had nothing of good use. No multimeters. No oscilloscopes. I saw some amateur radio equipment I think. And some other people had probably taken stuff of any value already. I was never allowed to look what he had really. 

They more or less just told me to stay away. I was just being in the way while they were throwing away stuff before I had any time to look at what is was. And if I did find something that looked interesting my fathers response was more like "no I don't want more crap into my house". However what I did get in the end WAS all the crap. A box full of cables and some useless homebuilt instruments with dried out electrolytic caps, that I had no idea what they were used for. The only thing was this radio reciever. Don't know if it works.

Many years later I bought my first oscilloscope. A digital Rigol DS1152. And my uncle asked if it was one of the things I got from this relative.... I was  just like "Huh? He didn't have things like this, nothing I got from him I had any use of. This is new stuff I bought myself"... "Oh, I thought it was old. Maybe they made it look old."... Seriously.No. they didn't have colored lcd screens in the 70's.

Rocksmith best record in this song so far

I thought I was going to recieve a trophy after 99 streak. But I didn't. Just one of the builtin mini trophies.

Edit: Even better now :D 95,7%

110 Longest Streak!

95.7% in Lead Guitar!

New record in Rocksmith

92.5% in Blitzkrieg Bop :D

But I have lost count how many days I have been playing now.

And coffee didn't really help against my weariness.

So tired, yet I managed to beat the record :)

No cellphone

How strange it is living just one day without my cellphone. Reminds me on how addicted I really am to it.

Still have not found my original charger. But I have not looked very well either.

I have been so tired today, probably because I slept so bad last night.
I think I did fall asleep a little bit during the day. But I am still tired.

Everytime I sit infront on the computer I fall asleep much more easily. Than for example, if I lay down in my bed or sofa. That is strange, maybe it is something about using the brain a little bit more when I use the computer. I read and/or write or do something. So my brain is more active and does a little bit of work, so it makes it sleepy.

If I just lie down, I don't really do anything. So it is more difficult.

I've been watching Notch on twitch.tv, he is very social and he responds to my messages sometimes. I wrote to him that I had a game idea similar to his idea before I heard about 0x10c. And then wrote that I always loose motivation in the middle of a  project. Well, his response was kind of predictable, I guess just keep working anyway even if you don't have the same kind of motivation you started with. And I know this works well, that is what I learnt from my jobs also. You loose motivation to keep doing anything at all, but I have to finish it sometime.

When you see the game starting to get in a playable shape, it is a little bit more fun to keep programming.. or you can loose motivation at this state in the game developemnt too.
You just have to keep working anyway, I know this,

Look at this  ugly bug in my objParser program.
It cannot handle all types of polygons,

It was so long ago I actually did something in objParser. And still, that program is just a tiny tiny tool that I needed for my game.

I don't know how many times I've fallen asleep while writing this, 10 maybe, or 20. Maybe 30...

I feel like playing a little Rocksmith, and or Akiba's Trip. Or maybe Eternal Sonata.

I wish I had some good friends so we could help each oher to keep motivation up and the project keep moving. But maybe that won't work with me, I'm not very social,

And I see so bad. I reallt really need new glasses. That is so boring right now ;/
Usually I liked trying different styles of glasses that was new, but now I am more ugly than usual. so a pair of glasses wont make any diffence anyway.
I  should keep the ones I have now and just buy new lenses.
Sometimes I can't see my mouse pointer.

Oh, this tiredness I have is madness...

I can't remember if it was today I made pancakes or if that was yesterday?

Anyway, I need to make more food, so pea-soup maybe then. But now I'll take a risifrutti. And oh, a cup of coffee. But I don't think it will wake me up. I really need better sleep.

Yoshi Amiibo collection and some ps3 games

I also bought Akiba's Trip that I really have no clue about what game it is. So they could easily have fooled me into buying some crap game.

I have only heard good things said about Eternal Sonata however. I think it was an early game in the ps3 lifetime? I don't remember when it was released. But many people said it was good. It was pretty cheap now.