I just refuse to sleeep

I dont know what it is. But I just dont want to sleep.

I had a little fight with my friends on how useless they make me feel like. They ofcourse defended themselves and claimed that it never happened. Or it was just my own problem. Or that it was my own fault I felt that way.

I cried, not over that I think. But everything. The situation with the cancer.

What made me so upset was that they always always always refuse to listen to me and my ideas. I am pretty much ignored as the little one with nothing interesting to say at all.

I said a thousand times that  I use to order stuff from RS Online. Yet I hear "have you ever heard this site RS?"
.
Because I know. If I say or recommend something.  They are not one bit interested. They won't look at it at all,  not google it. until someone else mentions it.

And by then I probably spent money for probably 20k SEK by then on RS.