Saturday, 15 August 2015

Blisters in mouth and Neato

I've gotten some kind of blisters in my mouth. Maybe I have not taken care of my mouth hygiene well enough. But there is very little room left for ny tounge. So I easily bite in it.

Maybe the radiation therapy I got caused these blisters.

I notice that there are blisters on other place in my mouth aswell. On my lips.. so, mayve bad hygiene is the reason. I have been lazy brushing my teeth and use that Prontoral that I got. I'll have to start using it more often so the blisters hopefully heals

Painkillers don't really work on that sort of pain. But I have some sedative gel that I can put on. But then food doesn't taste anything.

It feels like. Next week I am not going to be able to eat food anymore if they think it is a good idea to put in tracheotomy so soon.

Thw neato was going around randomly to try and find its way back to the charger. I wonder why. It was cleaning perfectly well. Until it needed to charge. Then it was just going around randomly bumping into walls. I wonder if I had left it do this for a while. Maybe it would have found the charger again.
Because I lifted it up and moved it closer to the charger. And then it found it. I hope I didn't ruin its builtin mapping of my apartment
I really feel like getting my money back for this one and upgrade to a BotVac D85. But I don't know if my current one is faulty or not. Maybe it is possible to get money back anyway.
Also the other thing is that nobody has the BotVac D85. I have to order it. I can't decide. I kind of want is ASAP, but I am not in the mood now to do something about it.

Another thing I've been thinking about. Maybe I am badgering and going on too much on my friends about my problems with my robot vacuum cleaner and my problems with my ESD installation and grounding problems in my house. A friend always throws out these insinuant comments, or try to make fun of me in a mean way if I keep talking about something too much. All I want is some insight or good ideas. But none of my ftiends really can't help me. It's more like "put earth grounding in your butt maybe works". And then they keep talking about something else. I don't really have anyone to ask about these things, because I have never had friends with common intetests as me.
A thing that buggers me sometimes is that they never ask me any questions regarding electronics or something I might have a good understanding of  They always talk and act like they're experts in the area and I can sit there and listen to this. And just thinking, they've got every single thing wrong. I wonder how they see me, what do they think I am.

We had a talk about HDTV resolutions once. A friend had connected his Wii to a new reciever he bought so he had an HDMI cable fron that to the TV. The reciever had lots of inputs. And he was so fascinated that he had now a Wii that outputs 1080p.
So I asked, but what output does the Wii have?

And got the answer "HDMI, look for yourself, it says so on the TV". But I said that there are no Wii consoles with HDMI outputs, it is whatever output the Wii has that is copied over to a HDMI 1080p signal. The reciever only upscales the picture and renders it on a higher resolution. But no, he refused to understand this. The image was now 1080p. I don't know if I said it at the time. But think of it like this, the native resolution on your TV cannot change. The amount of pixels there are constant. If you plug it into your TV, the TV will upscale the image to its resolution. The reciever might to a better job at upscaling it to a 1080p signal. You could connect a VHS player in there, you wont really get a better image. It is going to be exactly the same thing. The reciever doesn't automatically add non existent data between the pixels that wasn't on the film in the first place. Those added pixels are just gradients between the real image data depending on what kind of resizing algorithm is used. In the end of the discussion, I was the one who was stupid and didn't understand the technology very well. So I had to be ridiculed for that.

So I think maybe people have a view on me that I don't really have a good understanding of anything. I have always been the person who is behind a few steps.
I often feel very useless.

When people do need help from me, it is always problems that they have with Windows or their Mac. Problem is that I don't use Windows. I use Linux. And I know nothing about Macs... But I always get stuck there. They wont let me go until I fixed it. I hate that. Fix it yourself, that is hoe you learn things. There is no danger in doing something wrong. Alot of people seem to be afriad of doing something wrong with their computers so that they have to leave it in for repair or something.

I don't know where I am going with this.
Maybe my point is, sometimes I feel like I am being treated in a way, that I am an amateur in my interests and my friends don't care about my opinions.

I don't really care so much if I die soon. That is one of the reasons I want to die. Is that nobody wants to listen to me.

I remember the first few weeks at my job. I was a newly graduated electronics engineer. One of the guys working there was talking constantly on and on how worthless newly graduated engineers was. That in his previous work experience had worked with people from Chalmers with these good grades... and they knew nothing.
But really. What do they expect? You can't expect a newly graduated to know much. They've been studying theoretical things and mathematics and such things. They have not yet gotten any practical experience.
But it made me feel so sad at that time.

Uhm yeah. I am getting tired again. I was hoping that maybe a dose of oxynorm would take away some pain near my left ear. And also have a positive kick.

I feel like playing a little Rocksmith. I was practising Choord 102 yester day. It was very very difficult.

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